The Awkward Silence

December 29th, 2015:

"We sat under the same sky, but he couldn't see the stars" - She said. Well, not explicitly to his face but politely put it up as her WhatsApp status after she returned from Bangalore (for him to see, may be? Hoping he would realize what exactly she felt for him?). Just a couple of days ago, they were together in Bangalore - talking, looking at each other. She had this look on her face. Her eyes… And her feelings for him which were impossible to hide even though she tried to, desperately – To maintain the balance of power, I suppose, she tried to hide them. Sadly, those feelings were restricted only to her eyes. It was clearly evident… for even she realized that.

“I think you are… still in love… with her” she said, hesitantly. “All you talk about… is her. All you see is, her, in everything!” and immediately before he uttered a word, “Forget it, I think I am over-reacting” she whispered slowly and tried to suppress everything within, just like she did the most times when he was around. (She rarely must have been herself when she’s around him). She tried to take the blame again, as always, rather than telling him that it was him… he is the problem. Instead she tried to maintain that she must be over-reacting. (Why are some people so attached to jerks who do not appreciate them?). He remained silent for the most part of the conversation that followed. Basically there was not much of a conversation after that. There was silence for a few seconds and then they both pretended that nothing had happened and tried to talk about other stuff from life. They simply turned a blind eye to it like any other stupid couple would do rather than talk and sort it out. (Sensible, they are. Aren’t they?) He awkwardly responded in single words later for a few more minutes with a fake smile. He is very uncomfortable when it comes to lying (especially to people close to him). He has always been that way. And she knows that thing about him. She knows that when he cannot lie his way out with those close to his heart, he does this – Gives them awkward answers in single words or attempts to dodge the question and when that fails, he remains silent – Awkward silence follows. Just, plain-awkward-silence. And in that moment, his eyes clearly converse, with that look… begging to let it go, as if saying - “Please don’t ask me things you would not like to hear about, please.” And I think his eyes were doing just that. Did she observe them?!

In hindsight, all this seems strange. Well, life is strange sometimes. They had agreed to meet each other in Bangalore just a week ago. They both knew how things would turn out and yet strangely they agreed to meet. They met, smiled and talked for hours… and oh, yes, they watched a movie at a coffee shop on her laptop after that awkward silence. The movie had its hilarious moments… and they both could barely stop giggling. They both, briefly, forgot everything that had happened before the movie. No matter, how mildly amusing the script on the whole is, these two fine funnymen will leave you with a grin, at the least. Thanks Will Ferrell & Kevin Hart for saving the day. With the joyous New Year’s Eve just 2 days away, everyone around them was in festive mood. And so were these two before they had met. They were on a vacation… and somehow decided to meet each other. And this is how they ended up in Bangalore, in that coffee shop, with that laptop on her lap and him sitting next to her sharing her ear phones.

People can be stranger than life sometimes, you know. May be she knew what his answer was and yet she wanted to know why he could not see the stars because they are under the same sky, now. Aren’t they? Or maybe she wanted to hear him admit it. Admit it that maybe he was looking for the moon. Admit it that he was so engrossed in finding his moon, hidden in those dark clouds, that he could barely notice the gleaming and glittering stars all around. But, wait… does it really matter? Isn’t it irrelevant if he is still looking for his moon now but unable to find it? Or if he found his moon once and lost it and so does not want to look for or find himself a star, now? What is significant is that his eyes do not shower the same affection. Isn’t that enough? He would never be able to appreciate her as much as she would like to be. Isn’t that enough? That should be, right?

Why are we like this? Why do we do things that we do? I don’t know. But what I know is things should not be like this. I think what she deserves is someone who has that same spark in his eyes… but for her. As a matter of fact, I think everyone who sincerely likes someone deserves that in their life - Those sparkling eyes, filled with hope and love, looking at you back with a gentle smile. I just hope everyone finds that… even her, especially her. 
(So, if you are reading this then go out on those coffees that we talked about – Yes, even on Sundays! You deserve better.)

Well, um, confused reader, you must be wondering “Then what about him?”, right? “Who is that guy? Is that you?!”, you ask?

Uh… Well…*Awkward Silence Follows*