Okay, I know, I know. Just a glance at the title of this
blog post and most of you must be wondering what is wrong with me, why can't I
decide on the theme and stick to making this blog what it actually is all
about. Right? You must be wanting to know what this blog is - Is it about a guy
who is trying too hard to be noticed as a biker?! Is it about his
"travels" or the series of misadventures that follow?! Is it about a
guy who often boasts of his "writing abilities" but seldom exhibits
them?! (Okay, this one, it is!). Or is it simply, all about a cracked whacko's
bizarre, idiotic thoughts which he shares online for the entire world to view
but never really does anything (the meaningful ones, I refer to) about them?!
Well, uh, I cannot tell you what this blog 'is'
or 'will be' because I don't know it
myself, I haven't decided on that just yet. And clearly, I don't want to label
it. I cannot tell you what it 'is' or
what it 'will be' but what I can tell
you is; what it 'is not' or what it 'will not be'. Um, this blog is not just about showing what an avid
biker I am, it isn't just about my
bike or my love for automobiles. Neither is it about my bike rides & road trips nor
about my rants about them. This blog is not just about my moronic, meaningless, narcissistic thoughts,
or my confusion, you know. This blog is
not just about me or my world, sometimes. Oh, it isn't a travelogue alone. It, most
definitely, isn't a way that I use
to impress girls (Kind of hard to convey the tone over here and I… find it to
be a daunting task to impress people even when I am able to do that). It isn't limited to just any of these
things. It is, for me, much more
beyond that. It is, in a way, a place
for me to be 'me', say anything I want to say - even stupid, mean, silly,
senseless, embarrassing things that I usually don't get to say out loud in my
real world.
So, to set the record straight – If you think I am the "usual" - tattooed, leather wearing, knee-scraping biker that you've seen on the
roads or read about online then let me clarify, I am not. I am an average guy who'd usually go unnoticed even when standing right in front of you in a crowd, who just happens to like riding a motor-bike. I don’t ride to those coffee places on Saturday
mornings, shop for biking gears at the first chance I get or spend my time fixing
my bike on the weekends, just so you know (I mean no offense to those who enjoy doing all that). Instead I'd love to spend my weekends
with my family, talk to them, go watch a movie with friends/family, go out
on brunches or late night dinners. (Lately, I have been spending my entire
weekends with our cutie pie Avvy'lu. I'm really sad that he is growing up so quickly and thus want to make the most of this time. Lord, why can't you let him be 10 months old forever!). So, I am just a different kind of biker or traveller. And my love for automobiles and long drives has
a limit, unlike my blog's limitations. So, I will not spend all my time here
talking about just my travel stories, road trips or just about bikes and cars, in general. These will, undoubtedly,
be some of the many topics that I will write about because I usually like to
talk about these things. I could talk on and on about video games, movies, documentaries and
sitcoms too, so I might write some posts on those lines, some times. Also, I have a
wild imagination and crazy, unstoppable stream of thoughts, so every now and then, I might pen them down here. As much as I like to write about my
travels, I also cherish writing about my super weird (sometimes) thoughts.
And unfortunately (for you), today is one such day! (Yay!! Look at how thrilled you are! >:-( )
Did it ever occur to you that even though you are this elegant, sophisticated yet sweet and nice person from the outside, there is a slight chance that you could be this person who is not 'good' on the inside... or in reality, a total whack-job just waiting for you to discover? Ever felt like you are a crazy, mean jackass?! I did. It could be because of anything, you know, like a simple thought which could bring out something different from within you. For instance, while riding your bike slowly, you look at some random bald guy on the road walking alone while on the phone, on the sidewalk, and you immediately think - "Hey, what if I just slap on the back of his head and ride away?", Or if there is some elderly man in front of you on the escalator and the thought that you could push him and in turn hurt him might cross your mind. Um, thoughts like this did cross your mind, now, didn't they? Or is it just me?! Well, if they did then do not worry, because having such thoughts do not mean that we are bad persons, in fact they mean that we are normal, I guess. Uh-uh, let me correct myself - Thoughts, by themselves, are harmless. Even though they are bizarre or even seemingly dangerous, at times, they are just thoughts. So, having such thoughts do not make us bad, it's the synergy of 'thoughts' and 'action' that decides if we are normal or abnormal. It is only our action of these crazy thoughts that will make us bad people. (May be this is what Rachel meant when she uttered this line to Bruce Wayne - "It is not who you are underneath, it is what you do that defines you.")
Now a few days ago, a weird thought had crossed my mind - I was alone in the car, driving and listening to my playlist, but suddenly after the music stopped, somehow this other song popped in my head - 'Kaiyil Mithakkum' from the movie 'Ratchagan', a tamil song which I haven't heard in more than 6 years, and which by the way, I have no clue of what it means. As a matter of fact, I had heard and watched this song only once in my entire life and that was 6 years ago (Thanks to my curiosity that night). It was sung (sort of) to me by this girl on the phone, she knew it in Tamil and since I do not know Tamil, she basically just hummed it for me. It was the first time I heard her sing (hum) and just like that it stuck with me forever! (Yes, she was that good). I had a big time crush on this girl, BIG TIME! So, naturally, I still think about her, sometimes. And may be because of that... a crazy thought crossed my mind then - I immediately wanted to speak to her, meet her and... just like that, suddenly, I found myself wanting her all to myself, selfishly! It was a horrible thing to think because she is now happily settled with someone out there. Even if she is not, that isn't the right thing to do. Now, this thought here may be harmless. But had I acted on it then may be I would have been the bad guy, a home wrecker, in this case.
Oh, come on! You still think I am a bad guy for having such thoughts? I confessed (well, sort of) that I am ashamed and was confused then. And just so you know, having just the thought is not as bad as doing the deed. Also for your information, according to psychologists, most new mothers, at some point, have thoughts about dropping, hurting or drowning their babies (intentionally). It does not mean that they are dangerous. It means that they are looking out for possible dangers to protect the newborns from (or at least that's what the psychologists say). In my case, that thought must have come up because of me. My urge to stop my thoughts, counter-intuitively, make it pop more often. Thought suppression, clearly, does not work because I tend to remember what I am not supposed to think about. You think that is easy? Okay, try not to think about having gum in your hair now - Ah ha! See! You just thought about it.
Our bizarre thoughts aren't the indicators of who we are or what we will likely do. I mean, sure, I am scared and think that I am a dangerous, crazy, jackass when thoughts like these cross my mind or when thoughts like ramming someone with a car (GTA-style) pops in my head. It is a strange thing to think of but I, for sure, know that I am not going to hurt someone (at least not intentionally). I know that I have to avoid the synergy. And I always do. :)
So, next time your brain pops something like this into your head, remember that it is perfectly normal (Think of me, because I survive this everyday). Sit back and take a deep breath (And don't forget to exhale later).
See you on the other side,
K
Did it ever occur to you that even though you are this elegant, sophisticated yet sweet and nice person from the outside, there is a slight chance that you could be this person who is not 'good' on the inside... or in reality, a total whack-job just waiting for you to discover? Ever felt like you are a crazy, mean jackass?! I did. It could be because of anything, you know, like a simple thought which could bring out something different from within you. For instance, while riding your bike slowly, you look at some random bald guy on the road walking alone while on the phone, on the sidewalk, and you immediately think - "Hey, what if I just slap on the back of his head and ride away?", Or if there is some elderly man in front of you on the escalator and the thought that you could push him and in turn hurt him might cross your mind. Um, thoughts like this did cross your mind, now, didn't they? Or is it just me?! Well, if they did then do not worry, because having such thoughts do not mean that we are bad persons, in fact they mean that we are normal, I guess. Uh-uh, let me correct myself - Thoughts, by themselves, are harmless. Even though they are bizarre or even seemingly dangerous, at times, they are just thoughts. So, having such thoughts do not make us bad, it's the synergy of 'thoughts' and 'action' that decides if we are normal or abnormal. It is only our action of these crazy thoughts that will make us bad people. (May be this is what Rachel meant when she uttered this line to Bruce Wayne - "It is not who you are underneath, it is what you do that defines you.")
Now a few days ago, a weird thought had crossed my mind - I was alone in the car, driving and listening to my playlist, but suddenly after the music stopped, somehow this other song popped in my head - 'Kaiyil Mithakkum' from the movie 'Ratchagan', a tamil song which I haven't heard in more than 6 years, and which by the way, I have no clue of what it means. As a matter of fact, I had heard and watched this song only once in my entire life and that was 6 years ago (Thanks to my curiosity that night). It was sung (sort of) to me by this girl on the phone, she knew it in Tamil and since I do not know Tamil, she basically just hummed it for me. It was the first time I heard her sing (hum) and just like that it stuck with me forever! (Yes, she was that good). I had a big time crush on this girl, BIG TIME! So, naturally, I still think about her, sometimes. And may be because of that... a crazy thought crossed my mind then - I immediately wanted to speak to her, meet her and... just like that, suddenly, I found myself wanting her all to myself, selfishly! It was a horrible thing to think because she is now happily settled with someone out there. Even if she is not, that isn't the right thing to do. Now, this thought here may be harmless. But had I acted on it then may be I would have been the bad guy, a home wrecker, in this case.
Oh, come on! You still think I am a bad guy for having such thoughts? I confessed (well, sort of) that I am ashamed and was confused then. And just so you know, having just the thought is not as bad as doing the deed. Also for your information, according to psychologists, most new mothers, at some point, have thoughts about dropping, hurting or drowning their babies (intentionally). It does not mean that they are dangerous. It means that they are looking out for possible dangers to protect the newborns from (or at least that's what the psychologists say). In my case, that thought must have come up because of me. My urge to stop my thoughts, counter-intuitively, make it pop more often. Thought suppression, clearly, does not work because I tend to remember what I am not supposed to think about. You think that is easy? Okay, try not to think about having gum in your hair now - Ah ha! See! You just thought about it.
Our bizarre thoughts aren't the indicators of who we are or what we will likely do. I mean, sure, I am scared and think that I am a dangerous, crazy, jackass when thoughts like these cross my mind or when thoughts like ramming someone with a car (GTA-style) pops in my head. It is a strange thing to think of but I, for sure, know that I am not going to hurt someone (at least not intentionally). I know that I have to avoid the synergy. And I always do. :)
So, next time your brain pops something like this into your head, remember that it is perfectly normal (Think of me, because I survive this everyday). Sit back and take a deep breath (And don't forget to exhale later).
See you on the other side,
K
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