The List

Everybody has a list. You have a list. Your sweet best friend has a list, the lady across the table trying to read a book at the coffee shop has a list. The pretentious guy in the grey suit at work definitely needs a list. The nerd in the first row of your class room has always had the list. Your ever smiling, super cute, 6 month old nephew…? Uh, well, I don't think he's got any list… But yeah, I am pretty sure he too will have a list when he's grown up. Also, just so you know, even Schindler had a list. (Okay, admittedly bad joke. Fair enough, now keep watching because one of these days I will hit you with a very good one).

Well, just like everyone out there, your young and “witty” narrator also has a list. Uh, some might call it "The Bucket list" while others "The To-Do list” but I'll simply refer to it as 'The List' (unless I come up with a catchy name for it, that is :P).

The list is usually never ending, constantly updated and, sadly, with things that are rarely achieved. Mine is no different. I’ve achieved very few things on the list till date (Too many reasons to explain why. So I simply won’t) and there are far too many adding up to it by every passing day. I am determined now more than ever to strike every single one of them off the list. And with that strong determination in heart, I am writing this post. I have been maintaining this list since long now… this list where I update things whenever I feel the need for, strike things off when I have achieved something. And occasionally (which btw, is quite often these days) sit, stare and whine at those that have always been there, teasing me.

Okay, now without much further ado, here is my list. Hopefully this time next year I will have fewer things from this list to whine about.

Now, people who do not care about this are more than… Well, why do I even care? They must have left this blog post, in search of something interesting, already. Um, but I respect their choice (Frankly, can’t do much about it). So, now for those who genuinely care and are interested… Here we go!

(I have removed some stuff from this list. Stuff which I now, at this age, feel silly about - While some might still find some stuff here silly and wonder what the removed content was all about. Dude, it'll only get weirder if I mention them all :P)

• Witness shooting stars
• Play cricket on the beach while it rains. (Played 'Ball' when it was raining crazily on the beaches of Goa)
• Fly. Okay, at least ‘Skydive’ or ‘Parasail’. (Actually, tried my hand at parasailing - Fell off of it too from a good, 25-30 feet above the ground (Sigh)… and yet lived to tell the tale. Phew! Lucky me.)
• Donate blood.
• Build a tree house (Remember, it ought to be awesome)
• Catch a last minute flight to a random destination. (You better start saving for this one buddy)
• Visit an active volcano (Ah yes, like in 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty')
• Visit a haunted place (and may be witness some seriously "creepy" stuff)
• Sleep under the stars on the beach… or better yet, on a green hill top! (And if you are lucky you will be blessed with an amazing sunrise to view)
• Learn how to play guitar or a piano (At least be able to play just one song)
• Watch the sunset (with a loved one, if possible – Place will not matter if you are with "the right one")
• Build body. (Abs, hopefully. Too ambitious? Okay, stay fit)
• Get a tattoo (Size does not matter)
• Get lost in a completely unknown land (and then return in one piece)
• Start a blog (Travelogue, preferably) :D
• Go to a shooting range.
• Ooh, ooh… Stand on the Equator! :)
• Meet a random girl, impress her (No, not with your "charmingly good looks" try something else), and kiss her before you call it a night… (And never feel guilty about it, please).
• Solo bike ride (Again, place does not matter – But should be more than 300Km each way) (You may read all about my first Solo bike ride on my blog post here) - Updated as of 6th Jan 2016
• Bike ride to Leh with Maddy (It has to be Maddy only).
• And lastly, please try (hard) and do everything on this list (even if you end up regretting doing some later) before you leave this world.

Now these… are few things which I have always had on my mind. New things constantly get added up to this list of mine. So, I shall keep doing that in the future too. Only this time, I will try harder and give my best to complete and strike the old ones off the list.

Caring reader, I know even you must have a list… list which you don’t talk about, list which you have forgotten about, or list which you are working on now. It could be about a simple every day task, or about your son/daughter, about proposing to that girl/ guy of your dreams, could be about your across-the-globe trip, or your dream to pursue writing or about dancing at your own wedding. No matter what it is please try… try and do it. Complete the list. I know it’s easier said than done. I myself haven’t achieved most of the stuff and am still trying. But I am trying. I can’t imagine not trying at all rather than trying and failing at it. So much for “celebrating” life, eh? I just hope at least you achieve your list for I am still trying and will keep trying.

To completing the list.

See you on the other side

K

Writer's Voice

Gentle reader, I've got a question for you. Aye, I'm going to start off this post with a question. (Wondering what's with the "Aye" now, eh? No, this post is not going to be about pirates or sailors. Hey, however, that'd be a cool topic to write about, eh? What? You wouldn't want me to showcase my "creative writing" ability on such topics? No? Not one bit?! Wait! Don't answer that. It was rhetorical and… I know how much you "love" me now). Now, coming back to the stumper I have for you – When you read a novel, blog, or an article, whose voice do you hear when you read it? Is it yours?! I mean I completely understand if some hear their own voice when they are reading a newspaper article, school notes, text books or their own work, for that matter. But whose voice do you hear when you read blogs written by friends or complete strangers, a novel that is narrated by a certain character? Well, I bet the fun sorts (like your loving narrator) read them in other famous people/ characters voice (What? You don't do that?! Am I the only one?! Meh, then be it).

To be frank, I haven't read many books but when I do I certainly don’t read them in my voice. I pick the tone of the character (or blog) and read them in the voice of the person (that I know) whom I relate it with or sometimes it simply depends on my mood. For instance, my last post - "I am alive", while I was writing and proof-reading it, for reasons unknown, I read it in our very own and beloved monster, Dexter Morgan's voice (Yes, I am a huge fan of his). I wouldn't say that the tone of the post was anything like Dexter's but like I said, for reasons unknown to me I read it in Dexter's voice. Similarly, I sometimes use Christian Bale's voice (Yes, sometimes his Batman voice too). Marlon Brando, James Earl Jones and Richard McGonagle's voices are some of my very frequently used voices. Well, you fun sorts… I don't have to worry about you guys. However, the not-so-fun sorts… You, my friend, should try this some time. Who knows you might end up liking it. "No. Not interested." you say? Well, uh, at least, when you read my blog posts, do that. Just for fun sake, imagine someone else's voice reading it. It's not much to ask for now. Is it?

At the end of the day, I just hope you all read my work the way you'd like to and enjoy them as much as I did while writing them. I am going to leave you to decide it. :) I've got to run now, gentle reader. Like I said, I have work (for which I am actually paid) to complete. And I have some unrealistic expectations to live up to too. I really do. :( That's it for today then. Until next time, keep having fun (Yes, even the not-so-fun sorts).

See you on the other side!

K

I am alive

"What have you been up to all these days, huh?", "Are you even serious about this whole writing thing?", "Stop kidding! You seriously cannot be this busy?" or "We were worried. Are you okay?!" – If any of these are the questions you had in mind when you had come to 'this-side-of-my-world' only to find my same old blog post staring back at you then let me clarify… I have missed you too. :P – Before we start, let me get this straight... No, the title of this blog post is not related to my being away from this whole blogging thing nor is it my answer to one of your sarcastic questions "You dead, brah?!"

(That's really cute. You really think high of yourself. You think people will actually take time out of their lives to come read your blog posts… which you rarely update… and which are usually about just some random stuff from your life and clearly, of no use, whatsoever, to them. You are unbelievable!). Okay, you see these really harsh comments in the brackets? It's just the absurd, rude, logical other half within me who I talk to sometimes… Uh, or is it "think" to?! Whatever! (Yes, I do have the conversations with myself and yes, it worries me too, as it should). Point is... Ignore my rude, logical, inner-moron and keep reading what this caring, nurturing narrator has to say.

Well, like I was saying, I have been very busy, lately, with my work – Work that actually helps me pay my bills. And work which has brought in some much needed appreciation for me for all the hard work that I have put in. Yes, I am boasting now. And no, this blog will not be all about it. Then what is this blog post about, you ask? Well, patience, gentle reader. Read on and you will find out. Like I was saying, your humble narrator has been appreciated by his superiors at work for he has gone above and beyond the call of duty and achieved… oh, let me cut the crap. I just completed the tasks assigned (originally, to a team of 3), single handedly, way before the timelines, without any escalations or issues (for now) which made the client happy which in turn made my boss even happier... I think. (I just hope this generates more business and brings a smile on his otherwise, always-frowning-face). Okay, now this appreciation garnered my attention and made me think, for I was expecting to be elated at such a thing, however, I was not. Not one bit. It's not every day that you get accolades and recognition for your hard work. (I am lucky that way). And, it made me think… why wasn't I happy?! Why couldn't my smile be heartfelt? Why am I not content? What do I need to feel happy, content… alive? Is this really, life? Am I alive (actually)?!

Impatient reader, we have arrived now to the point you must be looking for. To simply answer your question, this post, I’m afraid, will be all about my frustration… my frustration to understand myself, to understand life.

Proceed with caution - Your humble narrator is in philosophy mode! There, you have been warned.

Well, um, on any other day, I would have tried my best to bring in some philosophy in to my writing (You may call it idiocy and I might fail at it miserably). However, today all I am doing is tell you how I feel. How frustrated I am in my attempt to understand life. That's perhaps the reason I came here, to this-side-of-my-world… to find the answer, to find solace and bring comfort to myself through my writing.

As a kid I always thought how lucky the elders are. They must all be happy cause of the simple fact that they don’t have to worry about examinations, results, competition or any of such silly stuff. Happy they are, all smiling and laughing! But does it really mean one is happy if he/she smiles? I smiled when I saw the appreciation email and when my boss was talking to me about it (FYI). I smile when I watch the-girl-across-the-aisle smile while talking on her mobile phone. (It must be her Boyfriend on the other end of the call. Lucky bastard!) Okay, back to the point now - Your life cannot be measured in such smiles. Can it?! Your life is not that smile you give when your boss says "You've got more potential in you. You just don't know it yet. This is just the beginning. You'll go places", nor is it in the envious looks of your colleagues. Your life is not the 5000 bucks worth jacket that you flaunt (only to fail miserably). Your life is not the super sport bike you ride. It, most definitely, is not the insanely expensive dinner buffet you had last weekend. It isn't in your rants about the traffic or the government! "OMG! You sound like Tyler Durden, now. Why don’t you just tell us what life is?" – This your reaction? Okay… uh, that, my friend, is a difficult question to answer. But, I will try. (The cruel and ironic twist of fate, this very act of trying is what dooms me)

Anyway, back to the point again, I think life must be that feeling your mom has when she is still surprised by your father after 33 years of marriage. Life must be that smile your sister has, every time she watches your super cute 4 month old nephew smile in his deep sleep. (Avvy, I love you, man!). Life must, most definitely, be that stare you give to your kid brother because the girl next door smiles at him while she doesn't even notice you :( (Cruel, eh? Well, that's life).

Hmm, or life must be that tear she had in her eye while she was on the train leaving you behind forever. Or that tree shade that the elderly homeless woman enjoys every sunny afternoon on your way to work. Or is it in the bleeding palm of the construction worker you witnessed? In the torn shoe of that sweet school kid who is asked to stand out of the class room because of it? In the sweat of the security guard who is 9 months pregnant and still has to work (Mostly, carry heavy bags to securely deposit them in the locker)? Or is it in that moment of silence you experienced when you were away from all this… on that beautiful rainy Saturday, on your vacation, with fog filled misty mountains all around you... the deep breath you took... Was that life?!

Well, clearly, your obedient narrator does not know. And for once, he is ready to admit it. (Well, some days are just like that, right?) Today, I do not have the answer to this question. May be this search for answer is life? If this is… then are we all (those unfortunate enough, including me, who are looking for an answer… or searching for happiness) alive until we know the answer?!

Um, I don't know what life is... Come to think of it, hell, I don't even know what my blog is all about yet, leave alone life. So, I guess, I will make my peace with it. Go with the flow and let the flow decide. Perhaps someday I will see where this blog is headed and my life too. May be someday (soon enough, hopefully) I can answer the question - Who is alive, really?

Perhaps, that day, I will look up, smile whole heartedly and gently whisper – "This is life and I am… alive".

That’s it for today then.

See you on the other side. :)

K