"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory"
January 8th, 2015 - Thursday at 5:25pm
She was literally running, holding his hand while he walked quickly. She was adjusting her hand bag constantly and at every off chance she got she looked at her watch. “It’s okay, we are almost there”, he said, concerned that she might fall, for she was recklessly running amidst the crowd. She politely smiled at him but kept going at the same pace and kept pulling his hand. “You do realize that we have already crossed the parking area and are almost at the food court, now if we just take the escalator and go to the second floor we will reach the ‘Departures’ gate. And we are on time. So, please stop running and walk carefully.” While he said that, they had already reached the escalator, she held his hand even tighter now. She stepped onto it and then pulled him along, just the way she did all along their “walk” from the parking area.
He: “Okay, I'm not sure if they would allow me any further from the first floor, so let me say my good-byes”.
She: “No! You will not leave me like this, please. I want you to be at the gate when I leave. So, I don’t know how you will manage, but just be there”. And before he could say anything, she said:
He: Don’t worry, you won't. But if you do then I will have to book a to-and-fro ticket back to Hyderabad again for you, now. So, I am wondering which of my credit cards to use.
She: Shut up! (She playfully hit him on his arm) Shubh-shubh bolo!
He: Come on, you know it, you will not be allowed home by your parents, if you miss this flight to Chennai. And that is exactly what I want. Because then, you can happily stay with me and my family here in Hyderabad. Who knows, maybe I will even marry you then... I mean, only after a year, ha?... And, oh yeah, only if you remain in shape even then (He winked). Ab isse shubh-shubh kya bolu?!
She: Sheee!! Tell me why shouldn't I kill you now? (Still frantically walking after getting down the escalator)
He: Uh... because you cannot afford to waste your time now?!And just then they were interrupted by the security guard as they reached the escalator to go to the second floor. The security asked him to take the elevator because that’s what the visitors take, as from this point on only passengers were allowed.
She reluctantly had to let go of his hand and asked him to wave her good-bye once he reaches the departure gate from afar and told him she would be waiting. (Things people do when they think they are in love). He, more than happily, obliged and rushed towards the elevator while she took the escalator. The elevator was crowded but he somehow managed to get into it. Not giving a single thought about the others already in the elevator. In no time he reached the departures gate, only to find a very short queue which she was a part of, moving inside slowly. While, to add to his misery, the visitors behind the barricades crowded the place making it very difficult for her to spot him. She was showing her boarding pass and enquiring the security officials about her flight while he stood there far behind looking at her, waiting for her to spot him. She was constantly looking behind – her eyes searching for him - while trying her best to pay attention to what the security official had to say. But she could not find him amidst that huge crowd. And now, it was time for her to leave inside. Feeling low, while her gloomy, round eyes still anxious to see him, she went in. Meanwhile, he stood there among the crowd desperately waving at her, only in vain. And just like that she left.
Little did they both know that this was the last time they would see each other like this. Life was about to take an ugly turn and these two were nowhere close to realizing that. Despite not being a "happy ending" that evening for the both of them, this memory was etched in their minds forever, especially his. (Far too many things had happened that day except for their planned 'good byes' so to call it 'not-a-happy-ending' would be unfair).
Now, every time he went to the airport ever since this incident, he would look at that same elevator, that very escalator and that pathway from the parking lot where she made him run (literally) and remember that evening and everything that had happened before… and smile. He often wondered, why he couldn’t think of all those other times he had come to this airport (which was many times, quite frankly) and how almost always only thought of her when he was there. Memories do have an impact on you, he realized.
But, as life would have it, things were about to change.
"Whatever makes you feel bad, leave it, whatever makes you smile, keep it."
A year later - January 17th 2016 - Sunday at 01:30am
"M@d@*****!" she said in a hushed tone, grinding her teeth, while looking at those cops and rolled the windows up. "What the... what just happened! Did she just say what I think she said?", he thought to himself. By now, he must have understood that she had temperamental issues, only if he was any wiser. Dazed at such a reaction from a girl whom he thought was soft-spoken, he started to reverse the car from that packed smoking zone. She smiled at him and said "Where to?" and before he could answer, she continued, "You know, I need a break from all of this. I will call it a day at work and get my handbag. Let's go somewhere. Interested?"
"Yeah, I mean.. sure, uh.. why not", he said. Agreeing to her request. It must have been mostly because of the bewilderment or was it because he witnessed her argument with the cops?! Nah, I bet it must only be because she was the prettiest girl he has ever been out on a 'date' with. Whatever the reason, they were soon on their way out, on those empty roads on a very dark midnight. "So, um, where do you want to go?" he asked her, very low on confidence. "Anywhere far from such stupid cops, baba. Uh, I only have to reach home by 2:30am. So, we have plenty of time" she said, confidently. And that was all he needed. He is very fond of long, late-night drives and thus he started suggesting these insanely far off places. But, she wasn't convinced with those further places because she had a set time to return home. So, they both decided that they'd go to the airport (which is quite far) and return to Alwal (Just too far), drop her and then be back on his way to his home (Just... don't even bother - It's on the other side of the city).
She was dazzling in her tight, blue kurthi and loose hair. The only problem was her makeup and lipstick. She overdid it. She did not need any of that in the first place, she was only making her fair, flawless face look... made-up with it, he thought. They both slowly talked about all sorts of things - people, professions, likes-dislikes, etc. This was very unlike him, you know, to start conversations by talking about likes-dislikes, etc. But then again, he was just not being himself, he wanted to be this whole new... somebody. On their way to the airport, he played his usual playlist but only the Hindi songs, eh. 'Humari adhuri kahani' title track started then. He loved it! The empty roads, the dark night, the cool breeze, the orange-lit street lights on the long flyover towards their destination, the Honda city's smooth revs, the heart breaking soundtrack and... the airport, of course. She, suddenly, put the music on mute - Never did anyone do that to him. He had this "Rules of the car" which he made all his passengers follow. And one of the most important rule apart from the 'Seat-belt-always-on' rule was 'Never touch the audio system. The driver and only the driver handles the music... and requests were accepted (well, mostly).' But he just couldn't say anything for he was surprised because the girl did not even realize what she had done even after looking at his startled face. (Well, you cannot blame her. He has one of those deadpan faces). She then started singing the song 'Hasi' for him after he had admitted that he had only heard the title track and no other song from that movie. She explained the lyrics, told him he lacked taste in music when he said that it was just okay. They then smiled, argued (playfully, of course) and kept driving. At one moment, their hands accidentally touched and there was this, moment... He did not know how to handle it and he was stupid enough to say - "Uh, you wanna try the titanic pose... alone, of course, out of the sunroof?" (Who says that!, he thought). "Um, the breeze isn't that strong, you know (Seriously, breeze?!)." She chuckled and said, "No, I am good." Clearly, there were two things that were pretty evident that night - Despite being completely wrong for each other... they were both physically attracted.
"Boy, something's off about this whole thing" his heart constantly kept saying. But, little did he worry about his heart that night. Instead he was admiring her seductive eyes! For his heart wasn't doing the thinking for him that night - You, gentle reader, I'm sure, must be aware what exactly does the thinking for a guy on such a night and thus also of the old adage all too well: “God gave man a brain and a d***, but only enough blood to run one at a time.” (Pardon the language - I just couldn't find a... um, nicer way to put it - God! Now even this line sounds so wrong!).
After reaching the airport they both took a stroll around - Walked on the same pathway from the parking lot to the escalator, almost took the same escalator, spent time near the same elevator fiddling around the ATM machine there, in vain. Stood by the unofficial 'view point' where most people stand to view the flights, took pictures (For he must have known that things would eventually end between them and wanted to remember her by something? Okay, okay, that is just crap. He just must have wanted to show-off that he dated a girl like this. I know, shallow!)
Soon they had to call it a night and after close to 140kms of drive, that night ended at 3:40am when he finally got to crash on his bed. This relationship did not last even a week (for far too many reasons) where they only met twice. He had this misconception that beautiful women do not get dumped and wondered if they, at all, did get dumped, how could people doing it live without regrets? Only later did he understand that apparently, one can. He explained her why things would not work between them and talked about how they shouldn't see each other. Most people have their own way of dealing with rejections and only few of us can take it gracefully. And she? Well, she did not. She blamed him, abused him, threatened him and in the process, only proved him that he was doing the right thing. His past will not be filled with regrets, at least not for ending things with her.
Ever since, he has been to the airport on 5-6 occasions and now all he can think is about this new memory he has made - That touch, those songs, that drive, her temperament and how she was hurt only because he wasn't upfront about his feelings. Though, things started off on a nice note they ended pretty badly, turning it all into a bad memory on both these occasions. And, he is stuck with them now.
Come to think of it, seems like there are no good or bad memories. Just memories. Lessons. Lessons learnt that will help you grow. Lesson? Well, there are plenty of lessons to learn from this post of mine. But I will only point two - Firstly, no matter how beautiful or ordinary looking the other person is, you need to have a connection. That's all you need, sometimes. There was only a disconnect in this second case. Secondly, even bad memories help. Like in this case, they have showed him (and hopefully, us) that you always need to move on and make new memories, memories which have to and which will replace all your old ones (entirely, hopefully). While everyone is out there experiencing life and moving on, he was still stuck at the same place with old memories. He took the leap, for once, and came out with a thrilling memory and two new lessons. So, I think he should keep going out, meet new people and make new memories rather than doing nothing at all. There will always be good and bad memories. You just cannot remove them from your head. They are a part of who you are and you either have to make your peace with them or go out there and try and make new memories to replace them. You never know, some day you might actually have a great memory and a story to share.
So, keep making memories.
See you on the other side,
K
